Grocery shopping

Apparantly we are the only family in the world to venture out into the world of a "large" family, meaning anything more than 2 kids now days. Oh wait...we're not? Then why is it that I feel that way when I go out in public with Noah (3 years), Claire (2 years), and Nathan (4 months). Take today for example. We needed to go to Target to get groceries and some new summer clothes for Noah, since he has outgrown his shorts in a matter of 3o seconds. I THOUGHT I was doing well to get myself ready (including shower...yay!), all of the kids dressed and fed and in the car before 10:00. We were even on track to get home in time for Claire's nap. The day was looking good! :)
But then I got 3/4 of the way there, just to hear Claire begging for her juice. Well, we have new rule since we have gotten the minivan....when Mommy is driving the kids are on their own in the back of the van. No snacks. No juices. No help with the headphones. No breaking up fights. Not even help if you drop something and it is spilling everywhere. Mommy is driving and that is that. Except today. Claire's frantic calls for a juice reminded me that I had forgotten the bag at home. Diapers, juice, snacks, and most importantly..my wallet, which now defeated our whole attempt at the grocery store. So I turned around and drove all the way back home to get it. It ended up taking us 40 minutes to get to Target.
Blue doors or green doors? I bet people without kids don't even know that the two entrances to Target are different, but they are. Especially when one child wants to go in the blue doors (by the electronics) and the other green (by the groceries). Good times. Once I had Nathan comfortably strapped into the Baby Bjorn, Noah and Claire were holding hands (Claire mine, then Noah hers), and we had settled the feud over whose turn it was to "push the button" (to close the door to the van of course), we were FINALLY on our way to getting our shopping done---through the blue doors.
Inside the store, there were a million distractions for Noah and Claire. My children have long ago forgone sitting in the cart. Actually the only riding in the cart involves hanging off the side and yelling something about riding on the garbage truck. Eventually, we made it to the boy's clothing department. This was actually a big trip for us....Noah's 1st trip to the "big boy" department at Target. What this really means is paying more for clothes. I wanted to get clothes that were loose enough for potty training this summer, and apparantly I was going to have to pay more for it. Luckily I had a coupon. :)
So about 10 minutes into the shopping trip, Claire poohed. Yup, the black beans she had the night before were doing their job. And we were in the boy's clothing department. And I was wearing Nathan. I looked at the front of the store where the bathrooms were, and thought about the 10 minutes it just took us to walk back to where we were, and made the decision to change Claire right there on the floor.
I picked out some t-shirts and easy shorts for Noah, during which I had called for Noah and Claire to stop running around about 20 times. Nathan had been crying since I had been hunched over with him changing Claire's diaper. So now I am bouncing up and down in an attempt to calm him, and mildly threatening Noah & Claire. "If you don't stay with Mommy, we will go home!". I have followed through with this enough to where they did believe that I would do it. However, today they did not care. Running wildly through the racks of clothes and hiding seemed worth any consequences I was going to dish out.
I should have just gone home at this point. But I didn't. I got my groceries (for the most part), and contact solution (with coupon), and even ice cream. But the WHOLE time, Nathan was screaming, which of course attracts the "awwwwws" and "it's so rough!" and sympathetic stares. Until they see that I am turning around to round up 2 toddlers out of the fiber-supplement aisle and pleading with them to put the bottles of Benefiber that they are using like baby rattles back on the shelf while trying to pick out a better cough medicine for Noah. Then the sympathetic glances become more like entertained stares.
Finally, I surrendered to the inevitable...calling it a day. I looked at my list to make sure I had at least gotten the essentials. No cream cheese. I hadn't even gotten the ingredients for the Easter peanut butter pie. I stared down the aisles (about 7 away) and decided that I didn't have it in me to turn the crew around again and pick up the needed cream cheese. Hopefully it will get done tomorrow at the next attempt at grocery shopping. And hopefully with less kids.